Wife Material

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ACT 1

Scene 1

It’s a Thursday. Baraku is in his one bedroom flat. He has two plates of food he bought from Mama Sikira at the office on the coffee table in the sitting room. He is on a Skype call with his mum.

Baraku: Hello iya e, her son’s mother.

Iya Baraku: How are you, omo e.

Baraku: Mo wa o, mummy. I am doing well.

Iya Baraku: Have you eaten today?

Baraku: I ate bread and margarine in the morning, ate amala at Mama Sikira’s at lunch time. I made sure I bought two plates of jollof rice with fried chicken from her before leaving the office. I will eat one now and refrigerate the second one for tomorrow morning.

Iya Baraku: When will this be over for God’s sake? Tori Olorun, Baraku, find a good girl and marry. I have been begging you to marry. Look at you, you are 37 and you are not married. Do you want me to die…?

Baraku: (cuts in) Mummy…

Iya Baraku: Je n ku o to sin mi. Let me land before you say your own. Is it until when I die that my only son, my favourite child, my last baby, will marry and have children? The last time I saw you, you were looking like someone they are rubbing hands on, unhealthy. Now you eat refrigerated food. Laye mi…

Baraku: Iya e, mummy…

Iya Baraku: I have not finished. (She snaps)

Baraku: (grumbles and mutters something)

Iya Baraku: Na you sabi, grumble. I will say my own. Find a good girl that will take care of you. You need someone that will cook fresh food for you everyday like me and wash your clothes. I don’t like all this nonsense you tell me every time we talk on phone. Se kia, ojo n lo. Time waits for no man. Before you know it now, you will be 50. Your mates already have children in the university.

Baraku: Haba, mummy! That’s a hyperbole. It’s only if I married at 20 that I could have a child at the university now. I am 37 not 45. And I couldn’t have married at 20 anyway.

Iya Baraku: E dey your body. Just do something about it.

Baraku: I have already done something about it but you wouldn’t let me talk. I have a girl I am seeing now.

(Iya Baraku drops her phone and starts to dance while singing.)

Baraku: (laughs) Mum, don’t be too happy yet. You haven’t even tested her. What if she is not your taste?

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Iya Baraku: (picks phone) That’s true o. Come over with her, let me try her wife-materialness. Let’s see if she can take care of my precious son.

Baraku: Now you’re talking. We will come visiting next Monday. Monday is a public holiday, remember?

Iya Baraku: Alright son, I will be expecting.

Curtains close

Scene 2

Baraku is at his fiancée’s, Faderara’s place. It’s Saturday.

Faderara: So, Baraku, how far with that online training you told me about? Are you on it already?

Baraku: Yes. I am working on it. I should be done in a couple of weeks.

Faderara: I’m happy to hear that. Any plan for Monday? There is this movie that will be showing at the cinema, can we go see it?

Baraku: No, sweet. I already have a plan. I want to take you to mama. I told her we will take advantage of the bank holiday to come see her. And since home is not far, we can come back to town the same day.

Faderara: That’s fine by me. We can see the movie the following evening after work. I’d love to meet her. But I’m also nervous at the same time. I hope she likes me. (sighs)

Baraku: She is itching to meet you as well. And there’s nothing to be jittery about. She is a lovely woman.

Faderara: Okay. Thanks for allaying my fears.

Curtains close

Scene 3

Monday. Baraku and Faderara are at Iya Baraku’s place.

Faderara: (kneeling) Good morning ma.

Iya Baraku: Good morning my daughter. My son has told me so much about you. I am happy to meet you finally.

Faderara: I am glad to meet you too ma.

Iya Baraku: What do you do for a living?

Faderara: I’m a software developer with Bobbitech ma.

Iya Baraku: (furrows her brows) With that kind of job, will you even be available to cook fresh food for my son everyday and wash his clothes? Or what is the essence of being married if he cannot eat fresh food everyday and save the money he has been giving to dry cleaners?

(Faderara tries to catch Baraku’s gaze but he avoids her eyes.)

Iya Baraku: (Stands up to face Faderara, arms at akimbo) Why are you looking at your husband’s face? I am the one talking to you. How do you plan to perform your duties as his wife after he marries you? Answer my questions.

Faderara: (stutters a bit) Ma, but…

Iya Baraku: Don’t but me, answer the questions. Anyway, I will come back to them. I need to quickly sweep this place. (Picks broom and begins to sweep. Faderara stands up, collects the broom from her and sweeps the large living room while her fiancé and his mother sit in the dining area to chat. When she finishes sweeping the parlour, she asks that they move over there so she can sweep the dining as well. They gladly obey her.)

Iya Baraku: Faderara, you have wowed me today. Even though you are a career woman, you have shown me that you are qualified to be my daughter-in-law. Congratulations.

Faderara: (kneels down) Thank you ma. Thank you for accepting me towotese.

Iya Baraku: I still have some plates in the kitchen. I need you to wash those as well. After that, we will eat.

Faderara: Okay ma. (She leaves for the kitchen to do the dishes.)

Curtains close

Scene 4

Later in the evening, Iya Baraku is having a video call on WhatsApp with her son.

Iya Baraku: My dear son, you caught a big fish. This your wife’s wife-materialness is 5000 yards o.

Baraku: (laughing like a hyena) She’s a good girl, mum. But you stressed her too much. I almost protested as it was difficult for me to bear. But then, I thought of it, she needed to be tested.

Iya Baraku: The test was worth it, my darling son. Now, I can rest assured that my son is marrying a Proverbs 31 woman.

Baraku: You can say that again, mummy. She dazed me today sha. Faderara is a typical modern woman, confident and stubborn. I didn’t know she would let you do all you did to her.

Iya Baraku: She loves you, dear. She is an example of virtuous women who stoop to conquer. You are lucky, my son.

Baraku: Lucky is an understatement.

Curtains close

Scene 5

Tuesday. Faderara and Baraku meet at a coffee shop close to Manuchim Cinema.

Baraku: Faderara, you are such a rare gem. My mum was impressed yesterday. She said you are a good girl and I am fortunate to have you. Remember I told you there was nothing to worry about.

Faderara: (rolls her eyes) Of course, I’m a gem, a rare breed and my price is far above rubies, well trained of the Lord and properly taught by my parents, unlike some people.

I decided to play along yesterday even though I was hurt and felt betrayed by you. How dare you humiliate me before your mum and allow her disrespect me so, Baraku?! What effrontery, what ridiculousness! I am not a spoilt brat like you, which was why I indulged her.

And you know what? This relationship is over! You don’t deserve a precious woman like me and I will never marry into a family like yours. I deserve a man whose head is correct, a man who has been properly taught and trained and is also working on his character. Go ahead and marry your lovely mother. Nonsense and testing!

She picks her posh bag and sashays away from the place while Baraku watches with his mouth wide open.

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Baraku: (tries to put himself together, runs after Faderara and screams) Fade, but you are 36. Do you want to die an old maid?

Faderara: (stops a bit and looks back in tears) As if you care! I said what I said!! I am 36 but I know what I want and will not settle for less!!! (Faces her front and keeps walking away. )

Curtains close

©July 2022, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

Whoever Dwells

God does not discriminate. His secret place is open to whomever will come through Jesus Christ. How then do we dwell in the secret place?

Dwelling in the secret place of the Most High is maintaining a constant fellowship with God. It is intimately abiding in Christ the Vine (John 15:1-17) and getting our supplies for life and godliness from Him. It is going extra miles to seek God and knowing Him more in the place of fellowship. It is abandoning ourselves to His care, trusting Him as our all in all.

It is only those who dwell in His secret place that will abide under His shadow. They are the ones who are entitled to the promises in the rest of Psalm 91.

Isaiah 33:14-16 and Psalms 15 and 24:3-6 describe the people who may stand before God. Thank God for Jesus, we don’t need to make ourselves perfect to come to God anymore, we come through the righteousness we have by the blood of Jesus.

However, those who live in His secret place have those attributes mentioned in the quoted passages. To exhibit the righteousness we have in Jesus, we must stay continually in the secret place. That is where He breathes on us. That is where we are empowered to be like Jesus and live for Him. The secret place is not an option. It’s a place where we must all live in as believers in Christ.

As we abide in the secret place, it’s also important that we are conscious of the truth of where we live — the secret place of the Most High. In the midst of the uproar, turmoils and uncertainties of life, we must realise that we are hidden in Him and that all the promises in Psalm 91, that is if we are indeed dwelling in Him, are for us to appropriate. Those promises may sound too good to be true but they are for us and our children to own and experience. Do you believe them?

© March 2022, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

Come to the Words

The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
Psalms 19:7‭-‬8 NIV

Are you weary, unmotivated and tired?
Come to the words of life.
You shall be revived and rejuvenated.
Why hesitate, honey? Hurry up and don’t delay.

Are you a simpleton, unwise and prone to errors?
Come to the words of life.
You shall be made wise and understanding,
Folly shall not recognise you again.

Are you sad, depressed and uncomforted?
Come to the words of life.
They give joy and displace sorrow,
Come and have your fill of gladness.

Are you shortsighted or even blind?
Come to the words of life.
They are salve for your eyes,
They make you see and clearly so.

©2018, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

Good News

“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.”
Luke 2:10 NIV

I was thinking about this verse. The birth of Jesus was a good news (still a good news) and it brought great joy to all who heard about it (still brings great joy to us who already know about it and to those who will yet hear of it).

As we go through the different trials and challenges of life, we should let the thought of Jesus Christ leaving His throne and coming to this filthy soil of ours to be born as a human being comfort us. If He could do this for us, He could do anything else for us according to His will. He is able to deliver us from our troubles. He is with us as we go through trials and persecutions. Even when it seems He won’t deliver us, we can be sure of His manifest presence and that He will bring us through this life and get us safely home with Him at the end.

He came to give us peace, not as the world gives. This is why we can be calm and joyful in the midst of chaos, fixing our eyes on Him, our Prince of Peace.

©Dec 2021, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

The Best Story Rewriter

Something about history is it is not partial. It tells your story just as it is. Hope people will not wince and curse the memory of you when they read about you in the annals. There is always an opportunity to rewrite your story so far you still have breath in your nostrils.

I know someone who is the best story rewriter. He specializes in giving people new beginnings, if they will trust Him with their lives and follow Him. He is Jesus Christ, the Righteous.

Embrace Him and embrace life (John1:4).

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©2015, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

Mariam’s Rue

Mariam is in the pantry, sorting out her food items when her phone rings. She rushes back to the kitchen to pick it up. It’s her father. She strolls to the parlour and sits on the sofa.

“Mariam, when will you change?” He demands impatiently.
“What have I done this time around, dad?”
“What have you not done? I have been trying to call you for ages… I will end this call now. Go to your WhatsApp and check my conversation with you.” He replies and ends the call.

Mariam grumbles and goes to WhatsApp. But she can’t see any recent message from her father. Then she realises she hasn’t turned on data in days. She has been down emotionally and wouldn’t be bothered to be online. But now, for the sake of her father, she quickly turns on her router. Messages start rushing in like a mighty flood. From her father, brothers, sister, friends. Ah! Why didn’t they call her? They could have called her, right? She thinks. But then she remembers she only just released her phone from the airplane mode today after a break of 12 days. She was literally incommunicado, no internet or mobile connection.

She opens her father’s messages. He wanted her to call someone who had need of her voiceover skillset. The message was sent ten days ago. According to her father, it was an urgent need and she was to reach out to the potential client immediately. Her father continued sending follow up messages for five straight days but because she wasn’t online, the messages didn’t deliver. But it is too late now, the woman has found another artist.

“Mariam!” She screams at herself. “You just missed a juicy opportunity. This contract was going to last for years.” She throws herself on the floor and cries for a few minutes. Then, she picks up her phone again to see other messages. She scrolls down further to read the messages she somehow missed in the past. There are tons of messages sent to her from weeks and months ago that she missed reading and most of them held the answers to her prayers –job opportunities, meaningful connections, trainings, follow ups on invitation messages sent to her email address etc. She throws her phone on the sofa, then fetches it again and calls her father.

“I am sorry, daddy.” She sobs. “I let my troubles overwhelm me. So I cut off from everyone. Daddy, I lost that juicy opportunity you sent to me.” She pauses to blow her nose. “I was sad and depressed and wanted no one to reach me, so I disconnected from all networks. I didn’t know I was blocking the answers to my prayers. I realised as I scrolled through my WhatsApp that I even missed important messages when I was connected because I didn’t care to open many of my messages while forming busy-ness. Father, can I ever get these opportunities back?”

“Mariam, my baby girl.” Answers her dad. “It’s good you’ve realised your wrong. It hurts me so badly that you lost that opportunity. And all those others that you lost were from me too. I sent them to you. But I have forgiven you. Many more opportunities are coming and are here already. But you must stay connected. If anything bothers you, tell me about it and let me sort it out for you. Don’t let it be the reason why you will not be online or why you will be insensitive when connected.”

“Mariam!” Ngozi shook her friend and flatmate out of sleep. “Wake up, I saw you shedding tears in your sleep. Did you have a nightmare?”

“Oh, it was a dream!” She exclaimed as she sat up on the sofa and burst into tears. Confused, Ngozi sat beside her and hugged her to her chest.

“Ngozi, I have missed many blessings. The Father rebuked me in my dream. He said I have not been staying connected to Him and even when I do, I do not pay attention.”

“It’s okay, darling. He is a God of many chances. Just remain connected and be sensitive. Many more opportunities are here.”

“Wait, were you in the dream with me? He told me the same thing.” Miriam queried amid sobs.

“It’s His Spirit in me, dear. Don’t worry. He loves you but you must stay connected.”

“I will, yes I will. I will remain aligned and connected. I will be sensitive and pay attention. I will not let my troubles make me disconnect from His network anymore. When I am overwhelmed, I will tell Him about it and let Him calm me down with His love.”

© Ayobami Temitope Kehinde
November 24, 2023

What is in You?

Credit: Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

‭‭[24] But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. [25] He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person.

John‬ ‭2:24‭-‬25‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Jesus knew these same people would later call for His head and demand his crucifixion and kill him. He made humans and he knew their fickle nature. He knew how they can say “Adegun” (the crown is straight) today and turn back tomorrow and say “Adeogun” (the crown is crooked).

Jesus knows what is in everyone’s heart. He knows our tendencies, including the ones we are oblivious of. It is why as believers, we should dwell in His secret place. That is where He aligns us with His heart and will and helps us daily crucify our evil tendencies. Imagine Judas, who wined and dined with Jesus, healed the sick and cast out demons in His name, imagine him selling Jesus to His enemies. Imagine a whole Peter denying ever knowing Jesus and even swearing to validate his denial of Him.

Since Jesus doesn’t need anyone to tell Him about our human nature, we should trust Him our Creator to lead and guide us in our dealings with people too. He is the One who knows when someone who seems friendly is actually a fiend. To reiterate on what I wrote in the previous paragraph, we must allow Him help our own fickleness also, so we can be people He can trust and others can rely on too.

In other words, God loves everyone but does not trust all. We must submit to His school of discipleship to let Him process us and make trustworthy people, to Himself and others, out of us.

He won’t entrust His treasures to just anyone. If we want certain level of His glory, then we must allow Him build capacity in us. He doesn’t waste resources. There are some blessings some people may never touch even if they crave it. If God judges them to be incapable of managing them well, He may not let them smell it until they step up.

© February 2024, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

Keep Yourself in God’s Love

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[20] But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, [21] keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

Jude‬ ‭1:20‭-‬21‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I have a responsibility to keep myself in God’s love.

How do I keep myself in God’s love? By building myself up in my most holy faith and praying in the Holy Ghost.

How do I build myself up in my most holy faith? By studying the word of God, fellowshipping with other believers, reading Christian literature, listening to ministers of the gospel who preach the sound doctrines of Christ, singing songs of praise, worship and adoration to the Lord, listening to such songs and other edifying songs etc.

How do I pray in the Holy Ghost? By praying continually (Ephesians 6:18; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17) as the Spirit leads–letting the Spirit guide my prayer points. This could be in two ways: praying in my understanding and and praying in other tongues.

© February 2024, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

Abram’s Fearfulness

Text: Genesis 12:10-20

Abram was fearful and weak-willed here. Instead of standing up for his wife and defending and protecting her, he told her to lie she was his sister so they would spare his life and treat him well for her sake. Was that not selfish? They would treat him well but at the expense of his wife’s dignity and mental health. Imagine the state Sarai was in having to endure Pharaoh’s advances and unwelcome touches just because she was trying to “protect” her husband. Lord, have mercy!

Thank God for His timely intervention because of His promise, else…. He avenged Sarai and cowardly Abram himself by inflicting Pharaoh and his household with serious diseases. (Sometimes, God acts in certain ways on our behalves not because we are that “good” but because of His faithfulness.)

There are many ways a man can behave like Abram did here. When your mother is picking on your wife and you pretend you do not hear or see anything and leave her at your mother’s mercy because you don’t want your mum to emotionally blackmail you, you are being selfish, cowardly and displaying a weak will. When your siblings or other relatives, male or female, think they can disrespect your wife and you refuse to set boundaries and tell them off and your wife has no choice than to defend herself (sometimes you even frustrate her for standing up for herself), you are behaving like Abram did. When you encourage your wife to play along with a boss or a wealthy man who is making passes at her so you people can make money off him, you are acting just like Abram did. You have a reproductive disease as a man and because you don’t want your family to know your childlessness is your fault, even though some of them have started blaming and insulting your wife for her barrenness, so you’re pushing your wife to go and get herself pregnant by another man, you are behaving like Abram did and even worse. It’s time to repent, brother. God does not take excuses. Repent!

Listen, it’s not in all cases that God does what He did for Abram and Sarai. So, you need to be determined and learn to protect your wife from predators, whether they are family or not. And as a wife too, understand that when your husband is leading you to sin against yourself, himself, against another (and against God in all these cases) that you are to obey God instead and not listen to him.

Pray as a man that God will kill the tendencies you have to expose your wife to danger and leave her to fend for herself. Pray as a woman (married or waiting for marriage) that God will kill such tendencies in your husband and help you to not listen to your husband when he is leading you into sin.

© February 2024, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

God Rewards…

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.
Ephesians 6:7‭-‬8 NIV

***
The Lord notices the way we carry out tasks on our jobs, businesses and for others. We should do whatever we do on our jobs or for ourselves with the consciousness that God is watching and that He is our first Boss. If we truly love the Lord and care about His feelings, we will work in order to please Him. And this is the beauty of it, there is no good thing we do here on earth that God will not reward.

He doesn’t reward just the good works tied to church or any other Christianised good work but every good work done as unto the Lord. In other words, our entire lives shouldn’t be compartmentalised as spiritual and otherwise. Whatsoever (whatsoever) we do, whether in church or outside church should be done as unto the Lord. This is God’s pleasing and perfect will.

©2020, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

Equal Partners

Let me tell you why many Christian men don’t want to accept that 1+1=1 always despite the fact that the husband is the team lead in marriage.

1. They struggle to reconcile submission with equality. Like “How can you say she is equal to me but yet submits to me? She won’t submiiiit. She has to be lesser than me o. Yes, she is inferior and not equal to me.”
2. They want to feel superior to their wives and don’t want to let go of that false satisfaction of superiority that they’ve built overtime.
3. They want to be free to disrespect, dishonour, talk down on, talk anyhow to, manipulate, control and generally abuse and misuse their wives without feeling guilty.

Thank God it is clearly stated in the Scriptures that He created man as males and females in His own image and blessed them both to multiply and replenish the earth. No, don’t try to twist the process of forming the woman in Genesis 2 to back up your wrong mindset. He created them male and female in Genesis 1 and then in His own wisdom chose to bring about the manifestation of the woman (female image of God) by removing a rib from Adam and forming his wife. Adam was made of two complete humans in one before the surgery was performed on him and after the surgery, these two whole human beings through marriage returned to becoming one so that 1+1=1.

So yes, even as the wife submits to her husband who is her equal partner (as the church submits to Christ), according to God’s order, the husband also loves her as Christ loves the church. You see, God is perfect in understanding, love and justice. These two roles perfectly balance one another. You can’t submit to your equal partner as you should without loving him and neither can you truly love your wife without honouring, respecting her and submitting to her.

Like I wrote in a previous post, we should stop trying to help God solve His equations. These things are not difficult if the Holy Spirit is allowed to be Lord in our hearts and we let Him make our hearts malleable in His hands.

Finally, dear unmarried sister in Christ, make sure you are yielded to Christ yourself through the help of His Spirit and do your due diligence to ensure you marry a man who understands these things. Not all brothers are submitted to the Lord on these matters. Many are looking forward to subjugating their wives and can’t wait to “clip her wings”, strip her of her shine, and turn her to a footstool as the “lord of their marriage”. Don’t enter such traps. Let the Holy Spirit lead you in your choices. We will not be unfortunate in Jesus’ name (please read in Yoruba).

God still has choice sons whose understanding about submission is not warped and who also realise the huge responsibility the instruction to love their wives as Christ loves the Church places on their shoulders. These men pray about this command and plead with God often to help them measure up in their marriages. These men love, honour, cherish and respect their wives. They make mistakes, but they are quick to make amends. They understand that their role as the head of the home is a sensitive one and a privilege that must not be abused. They know that their wives are their equal partners and do not take their submission for granted.

Shalom, brethren!

© February 2024, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

PS: The picture is totally unrelated but it reminds you of something, right😁? I created it by the way.

1+1=1 Always

Credit: Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

We don’t need to help God solve His equations. Remember His foolishness is wiser than man. The Father is the first among equals. He is the lead among the Trinity but this doesn’t make Jesus and the Holy Spirit unequal to Him and the equality doesn’t stop Jesus and the Holy Spirit from submitting to His leadership.

Now, in marriage, by God’s equation, 1+1=1 yet the husband is the team lead in this equal union. His being the lead doesn’t in anyway change the equation from 1+1=1 to bigger fraction+lower fraction=1 and it shouldn’t still stop the wife from submitting to her husband’s leadership despite the equality. When we align with and yield ourselves properly to God, these things won’t be difficult, on both the man’s and woman’s sides. The husband won’t abuse his privilege as the leader of his equal partner, his wife, and misbehave, and the wife will submit too, despite the equality. But should we sometimes struggle, the Holy Spirit will help us realign as we continue to let Him be Lord.

Some Scripture References: Genesis 1:1-3; Philippians 2:5-8; John 1:1; 20:27-29; Matthew 1:23; 1 Corinthians 2:10-12; 2 Corinthians 3:17; Genesis 1:26-27; 2:24; Ephesians 5:21-22; 1 Peter 3:7

© February 2024, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

PS: For further reading, please click on the link below:

Some Lessons for Your Marriage From the Godhead

Some Lessons for Your Marriage From the Godhead

One of the core doctrines of the Christian faith is that God is a Trinity. We have three distinct personalities in the Godhead – the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Each of them is God and the three of them are one and God. So, it’s not like they are 3 Gods, they make up the only Living and the Almighty God while each of them is the Living and the Almighty God as much as the other. Yes, this is the mystery of godliness (1 Timothy 3:16) and everyone who comes to Christ is enabled to believe this and understand that it is true. Indeed, we do know the Father, the Son and the Spirit in our hearts (1 John 5:7-12).

Now, the Father is one with the Son and the Spirit, equal to the Son and to the Spirit (John 14:11; John 10:30). Yet, the Father is the leader among the three, the first among equals. Does the Father disrespect the Son and the Spirit because He is the leader among equals? No. Did He take the honour Jesus gave to Him for granted when He didn’t count His equality with God as something to be grasped but made Himself lowly, taking up the form of man, came in the flesh and eventually died a gruesome and humiliating death (He arose from the dead, of course)? No, He didn’t. Does the Father talk anyhow to the Holy Spirit? Does He abuse Him? No. Does the Father submit to the Son and the Spirit as they submit to Him? Absolutely! Does that reduce Him? No. Read Psalm 2; 110:1; Genesis 1:1-3,26; John 1:1-18; 1 Peter 3:7.

The Son and the Holy Spirit are in the Father and the Father in them. They defer to and submit to Him as the leader of the Godhead but that is not because they are lesser than Him.

Now, God’s original plan for marriage is that a man and a woman who are both His images with neither inferior to the other but equal in His sight (Genesis 1:27) would become one, even when they are distinct and whole individuals, in matrimony. So, the husband is the head (the leader, the class captain, the team leader, the pilot) of the home and his wife who is equally God’s image as he is and also has been equally blessed to dominate the earth and multiply, is his suitable and compatible helpmeet (Genesis 2:18), his co-leader, co-captain and co-pilot. Is she lesser than him? No. Is he the team lead? Yes, he is the first among equals and his wife is the second among equals.

Since there is a similarity in the oneness between the Godhead and the married couple (a man and a woman who are equally God’s image and equal partners in the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7)), isn’t it wise to learn from the unity displayed by the Triune God who originated marriage and their relationship with one another? Should the husband disrespect and abuse his wife because he is the team lead? No. Should the wife submit to the leadership of her husband who is equal to her? Yes, not because she is stupid but because she trusts in God’s order for marriage as wise and right and also has an example in her Saviour who despite being equal to God lowered Himself and came as a lowly human to achieve the purpose of redemption.

Should her husband treat her as trash because she is to submit to him as the leader? No. The Father does not treat as gabbage the Son and His Holy Spirit who are God as much as He is because they submit to His leadership. Should the husband despise his wife’s counsel? Nope. The creation of humans started with a conference: “Come let us make man in our own image….” (Genesis 1:26). God wasn’t talking to angels but to the Son and the Spirit. They rubbed minds together and made us. Should the husband respect, honour and cherish his wife and submit to her? Yes. Does that reduce him as the first among equals? No. Read 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5:21-22 and Genesis 2:24.

Oh yes, because we are still in the flesh even if we are regenerated humans in Christ Jesus, we are prone to temptations and missing the mark. It is why both the wife and the husband must continually abide in Christ (John 15:1-17) and prioritise their individual walks with God. When each of them is spiritually sound, the wife will know when her husband is misleading her and she will follow God instead of him and the husband will know when his wife is influencing him wrongly and will choose God instead. Being one in marriage doesn’t mean you should submit to what is wrong.

© January 2024, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

The City of Enoch

Credit: Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭4:16‭-‬17‬ ‭NIV‬‬
[16] So Cain went out from the Lord’s presence and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden. [17] Cain made love to his wife, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Enoch. Cain was then building a city, and he named it after his son Enoch.

Cain just left the presence of God in v.16, yet he went ahead to do a great exploit of building a city in v.17. Interesting. He was now out of God’s presence but he could still pull that feat. Do you know what it means to build a city?

What does this tell you? A person can be “prosperous” outside God’s presence. So, don’t be too quick to attribute your successes and prosperity to the Lord when you are out of His presence. It’s common to hear those who don’t fear God (as their conducts show) tell us their success is from God. A person whose songs are leading people to hell and is famous and rich will tell you it’s God. Another person who is prostituting herself in a posh way and making billions from it will also tell you it’s God’s grace. Some who steal the funds in their care will even come to church and testify to the “goodness” of the Lord for “blessing” them. A swindler will also go to church and pay tithes or first fruit.

Listen, God cannot be mocked. He knows those who are His. If you like, build churches all over the world, you yourself know you are not on His side. You can’t bribe Him. But He wants you despite your atrocities. He wants you to turn away from your wickedness and accept His Son before the silver cord is cut off (Ecclesiastes 12:6) and you condemn yourself through your rejection of the Son. No matter how terrible and despicable you are, Jesus came for you and His blood is able to wash your sins and make you white as snow.
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Isaiah 1:18 NIV
“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.
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John 3:16-18 NIV
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.
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The scenarios above are for those who are not children of God. But what about children of God who secretly or openly indulge in wickedness and compromises and assume God is still with them because they are prospering in their ways? Like Samson, they go on to do exploits while soiling themselves with sin. How presumptuous of them to think the manifestations of the gifts of the Spirit while grieving Him and not allowing Him work out His fruits of righteousness in them is proof that God is with them!

You can be a backsliding Christian and still be successful in your business, career, academics and many other endeavours. Don’t assume you are still on track. You yourself know something is wrong somewhere. Retrace your steps today and come back home. Even if the enemy has finally cut your hair like Samson, it is still not too late. Repent and return to the Lord like the prodigal son. Stop staying outside His presence. It is only in His presence that you have true exploits and success. Come back home. Jesus wants you back.

© January 2024, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

Flee!

Flee all appearances of evil.

As a child of the Most High God, you can’t and will never have an idea of the height of evil (could be sin or any other type of evil) God is protecting you from when He keeps you from taking some steps. Trust me when I say this.

When He says, “flee all appearances of evil,” it is for your good. If you fail to flee but rationalise the situation instead or ask around for opinions, you will not find it funny. There was a time I failed at fleeing, and it was God’s mercy that rescued me and did not allow the situation to be worse than it was, it could have been worse. I eventually fled.

So, flee! And if you have failed at fleeing, it is still not too late. Remove your shoes and let your heels touch the back of your head. Don’t wait till it gets really worse. Flee!

© February 2018, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde