Wife Material

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Scene 1

It’s a Thursday. Baraku is in his one bedroom flat. He has two plates of food he bought from Mama Sikira at the office on the coffee table in the sitting room. He is on a Skype call with his mum.

Baraku: Hello iya e, her son’s mother.

Iya Baraku: How are you, omo e.

Baraku: Mo wa o, mummy. I am doing well.

Iya Baraku: Have you eaten today?

Baraku: I ate bread and margarine in the morning, ate amala at Mama Sikira’s at lunch time. I made sure I bought two plates of jollof rice with fried chicken from her before leaving the office. I will eat one now and refrigerate the second one for tomorrow morning.

Iya Baraku: When will this be over for God’s sake? Tori Olorun, Baraku, find a good girl and marry. I have been begging you to marry. Look at you, you are 37 and you are not married. Do you want me to die…?

Baraku: (cuts in) Mummy…

Iya Baraku: Je n ku o to sin mi. Let me land before you say your own. Is it until when I die that my only son, my favourite child, my last baby, will marry and have children? The last time I saw you, you were looking like someone they are rubbing hands on, unhealthy. Now you eat refrigerated food. Laye mi

Baraku: Iya e, mummy…

Iya Baraku: I have not finished. (She snaps)

Baraku: (grumbles and mutters something)

Iya Baraku: Na you sabi, grumble. I will say my own. Find a good girl that will take care of you. You need someone that will cook fresh food for you everyday like me and wash your clothes. I don’t like all this nonsense you tell me every time we talk on phone. Se kia, ojo n lo. Time waits for no man. Before you know it now, you will be 50. Your mates already have children in the university.

Baraku: Haba, mummy! That’s a hyperbole. It’s only if I married at 20 that I could have a child at the university now. I am 37 not 45. And I couldn’t have married at 20 anyway.

Iya Baraku: E dey your body. Just do something about it.

Baraku: I have already done something about it but you wouldn’t let me talk. I have a girl I am seeing now.

(Iya Baraku drops her phone and starts to dance while singing.)

Baraku: (laughs) Mum, don’t be too happy yet. You haven’t even tested her. What if she is not your taste?

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Iya Baraku: (picks phone) That’s true o. Come over with her, let me try her wife-materialness. Let’s see if she can take care of my precious son.

Baraku: Now you’re talking. We will come visiting next Monday. Monday is a public holiday, remember?

Iya Baraku: Alright son, I will be expecting.

Curtains close

Scene 2

Baraku is at his fiancée’s, Faderara’s place. It’s Saturday.

Faderara: So, Baraku, how far with that online training you told me about? Are you on it already?

Baraku: Yes. I am working on it. I should be done in a couple of weeks.

Faderara: I’m happy to hear that. Any plan for Monday? There is this movie that will be showing at the cinema, can we go see it?

Baraku: No, sweet. I already have a plan. I want to take you to mama. I told her we will take advantage of the bank holiday to come see her. And since home is not far, we can come back to town the same day.

Faderara: That’s fine by me. We can see the movie the following evening after work. I’d love to meet her. But I’m also nervous at the same time. I hope she likes me. (sighs)

Baraku: She is itching to meet you as well. And there’s nothing to be jittery about. She is a lovely woman.

Faderara: Okay. Thanks for allaying my fears.

Curtains close

Scene 3

Monday. Baraku and Faderara are at Iya Baraku’s place.

Faderara: (kneeling) Good morning ma.

Iya Baraku: Good morning my daughter. My son has told me so much about you. I am happy to meet you finally.

Faderara: I am glad to meet you too ma.

Iya Baraku: What do you do for a living?

Faderara: I’m a software developer with Bobbitech ma.

Iya Baraku: (furrows her brows) With that kind of job, will you even be available to cook fresh food for my son everyday and wash his clothes? Or what is the essence of being married if he cannot eat fresh food everyday and save the money he has been giving to dry cleaners?

(Faderara tries to catch Baraku’s gaze but he avoids her eyes.)

Iya Baraku: (Stands up to face Faderara, arms at akimbo) Why are you looking at your husband’s face? I am the one talking to you. How do you plan to perform your duties as his wife after he marries you? Answer my questions.

Faderara: (stutters a bit) Ma, but…

Iya Baraku: Don’t but me, answer the questions. Anyway, I will come back to them. I need to quickly sweep this place. (Picks broom and begins to sweep. Faderara stands up, collects the broom from her and sweeps the large living room while her fiancé and his mother sit in the dining area to chat. When she finishes sweeping the parlour, she asks that they move over there so she can sweep the dining as well. They gladly obey her.)

Iya Baraku: Faderara, you have wowed me today. Even though you are a career woman, you have shown me that you are qualified to be my daughter-in-law. Congratulations.

Faderara: (kneels down) Thank you ma. Thank you for accepting me towotese.

Iya Baraku: I still have some plates in the kitchen. I need you to wash those as well. After that, we will eat.

Faderara: Okay ma. (She leaves for the kitchen to do the dishes.)

Curtains close

Scene 4

Later in the evening, Iya Baraku is having a video call on WhatsApp with her son.

Iya Baraku: My dear son, you caught a big fish. This your wife’s wife-materialness is 5000 yards o.

Baraku: (laughing like a hyena) She’s a good girl, mum. But you stressed her too much. I almost protested as it was difficult for me to bear. But then, I thought of it, she needed to be tested.

Iya Baraku: The test was worth it, my darling son. Now, I can rest assured that my son is marrying a Proverbs 31 woman.

Baraku: You can say that again, mummy. She dazed me today sha. Faderara is a typical modern woman, confident and stubborn. I didn’t know she would let you do all you did to her.

Iya Baraku: She loves you, dear. She is an example of virtuous women who stoop to conquer. You are lucky, my son.

Baraku: Lucky is an understatement.

Curtains close

Scene 5

Tuesday. Faderara and Baraku meet at a coffee shop close to Manuchim Cinema.

Baraku: Faderara, you are such a rare gem. My mum was impressed yesterday. She said you are a good girl and I am fortunate to have you. Remember I told you there was nothing to worry about.

Faderara: (rolls her eyes) Of course, I’m a gem, a rare breed and my price is far above rubies, well trained of the Lord and properly taught by my parents, unlike some people.

I decided to play along yesterday even though I was hurt and felt betrayed by you. How dare you humiliate me before your mum and allow her disrespect me so, Baraku?! What effrontery, what ridiculousness! I am not a spoilt brat like you, which was why I indulged her.

And you know what? This relationship is over! You don’t deserve a precious woman like me and I will never marry into a family like yours. I deserve a man whose head is correct, a man who has been properly taught and trained and is also working on his character. Go ahead and marry your lovely mother. Nonsense and testing!

She picks her posh bag and sashays away from the place while Baraku watches with his mouth wide open.

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Baraku: (tries to put himself together, runs after Faderara and screams) Fade, but you are 36. Do you want to die an old maid?

Faderara: (stops a bit and looks back in tears) As if you care! I said what I said!! I am 36 but I know what I want and will not settle for less!!! (Faces her front and keeps walking away. )

Curtains close

©July 2022, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

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Whoever Dwells

God does not discriminate. His secret place is open to whomever will come through Jesus Christ. How then do we dwell in the secret place?

Dwelling in the secret place of the Most High is maintaining a constant fellowship with God. It is intimately abiding in Christ the Vine (John 15:1-17) and getting our supplies for life and godliness from Him. It is going extra miles to seek God and knowing Him more in the place of fellowship. It is abandoning ourselves to His care, trusting Him as our all in all.

It is only those who dwell in His secret place that will abide under His shadow. They are the ones who are entitled to the promises in the rest of Psalm 91.

Isaiah 33:14-16 and Psalms 15 and 24:3-6 describe the people who may stand before God. Thank God for Jesus, we don’t need to make ourselves perfect to come to God anymore, we come through the righteousness we have by the blood of Jesus.

However, those who live in His secret place have those attributes mentioned in the quoted passages. To exhibit the righteousness we have in Jesus, we must stay continually in the secret place. That is where He breathes on us. That is where we are empowered to be like Jesus and live for Him. The secret place is not an option. It’s a place where we must all live in as believers in Christ.

As we abide in the secret place, it’s also important that we are conscious of the truth of where we live — the secret place of the Most High. In the midst of the uproar, turmoils and uncertainties of life, we must realise that we are hidden in Him and that all the promises in Psalm 91, that is if we are indeed dwelling in Him, are for us to appropriate. Those promises may sound too good to be true but they are for us and our children to own and experience. Do you believe them?

© March 2022, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

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Come to the Words

The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
Psalms 19:7‭-‬8 NIV

Are you weary, unmotivated and tired?
Come to the words of life.
You shall be revived and rejuvenated.
Why hesitate, honey? Hurry up and don’t delay.

Are you a simpleton, unwise and prone to errors?
Come to the words of life.
You shall be made wise and understanding,
Folly shall not recognise you again.

Are you sad, depressed and uncomforted?
Come to the words of life.
They give joy and displace sorrow,
Come and have your fill of gladness.

Are you shortsighted or even blind?
Come to the words of life.
They are salve for your eyes,
They make you see and clearly so.

©2018, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

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Good News

“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.”
Luke 2:10 NIV

I was thinking about this verse. The birth of Jesus was a good news (still a good news) and it brought great joy to all who heard about it (still brings great joy to us who already know about it and to those who will yet hear of it).

As we go through the different trials and challenges of life, we should let the thought of Jesus Christ leaving His throne and coming to this filthy soil of ours to be born as a human being comfort us. If He could do this for us, He could do anything else for us according to His will. He is able to deliver us from our troubles. He is with us as we go through trials and persecutions. Even when it seems He won’t deliver us, we can be sure of His manifest presence and that He will bring us through this life and get us safely home with Him at the end.

He came to give us peace, not as the world gives. This is why we can be calm and joyful in the midst of chaos, fixing our eyes on Him, our Prince of Peace.

©Dec 2021, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

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The Best Story Rewriter

Something about history is it is not partial. It tells your story just as it is. Hope people will not wince and curse the memory of you when they read about you in the annals. There is always an opportunity to rewrite your story so far you still have breath in your nostrils.

I know someone who is the best story rewriter. He specializes in giving people new beginnings, if they will trust Him with their lives and follow Him. He is Jesus Christ, the Righteous.

Embrace Him and embrace life (John1:4).

©2015, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

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Blessed for His Purpose

he gave them the lands of the nations, and they fell heir to what others had toiled for—
that they might keep his precepts and observe his laws. Praise the Lord.

Psalms 105:44-45 NIV
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His blessings upon our lives are for His own plan and purpose. He blesses us so we might keep His precepts and walk in His ways.

Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

When God lifts you up and makes you influential, when He makes what others struggle for to fall on your laps effortlessly, remember these verses. His blessings upon our lives are for His own plan and purpose. He blesses us so we might keep His precepts and walk in His ways. Don’t turn those blessings to excuses to stop fellowshipping with Him in your closet and in the company of brethren or to walk away from Him and do your thing. Don’t grieve His heart.

©July 2022, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

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An Anomaly

No one can be established through wickedness, but the righteous cannot be uprooted.

Proverbs 12:3 NIV
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I have been thinking about this verse. This is the perfect will of God but I can see an anomaly in my country, a reverse of the case. The wicked seem to be thriving and getting more rooted in their wickedness while the righteous appear to be getting uprooted. I asked the Lord about it and He brought Psalm 82 to mind. Hmm, when those of us who are gods refuse to walk in the light of who we are but instead behave like mere men, the earth will be shaken to its core and abnormalities will become the norm. And what more, we die like mere men.

We need to rise up and walk in the light we have in Christ Jesus, preach the gospel, and also stand in our positions of authority in Him to make decrees to reverse every negative and ungodly trend we have been seeing. Note that you may not see changes immediately and it may take years, but you have to be determined to not be moved by what you can see. Keep making decrees, keep praying, keep telling the world about the salvation Jesus brought. You are God’s ambassador on earth and you represent His Kingdom here. Enforce His kingdom and His will on earth in the place of prayer.

To reiterate, we must arise and live as the children of light that we are, walking in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-25). We must preach the gospel. And we must intercede for our land and decree what we want to see according to the will of God, not giving up but keeping at it even when we cannot see any positive change yet.

©July 2022, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

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Excerpts from Today

This afternoon, as I crossed the road, my backpack firmly strapped to my back, and swept towards where I would get a cab, I heard a voice right in front of me.

“What a flat tummy!”

I didn’t know what to think. It was sudden, unexpected and weird. I then considered the person probably knew me. So I looked back while asking under my breath if I knew him and our eyes ‘did four’. He was laughing. I didn’t know him from Adam and to be honest, it still feels strange. I mean, who sees a stranger and screams about their flat tummy? Maybe he has skonskon. Who knows. Orisirisi.

I faced my front and kept walking and finally found a taxi. I wanted to enter the back but some people were faster and was about to give up and find another vehicle when a man around pointed to me that the front seat needed one more person. Simultaneously, the taxi driver also called out to me.

“Small girl, con enter hia.”
“Did you say small girl?” I asked, a bit irritated, as I managed to balance on the half seat.
“You don’t call everyone you see with a small stature small girl, please.” I added.
“Sorry, big girl.” He teased. I just ignored him.

©July 2022, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

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If you are looking forward to marriage but have refused to prepare for it because you think you will learn on the job, (after all, in your mind, all those books and teachings on romantic relationships and marriage are all theory), you are preparing to have a woeful one. You reject wisdom on how to discern and choose correctly. You despise sound reasonings and counsels because well, you know it all, and nobody can teach you. Your practicals in your secondary and tertiary schools, were you not taught the theoretical part before you practised?

I know you don’t believe in divorce and I stand with you. But if you do not get ready and willingly work on yourself and keep at it even in marriage, cutting off all excesses and embracing selflessness, so that you are always a blessing to your spouse (I am writing to both men and women), you may end up frustrating your spouse and s/he may leave you. Even if the two of you are super sure God brought you together and there were confirmations from all over the world about your union, that marriage won’t work as it should if at least one of you is not working hard and doing his/her part to make it work.

You don’t believe in divorce but you choose to not learn ahead of time from the pitfalls of those who are divorced and see how you can avoid their mistakes? Do you think they planned it? Do you think it’s easy to leave a marriage? Do you know how messy and heartbreaking divorce is? Many divorced people didn’t plan to end up divorced but it happened. Yeah, I know some people entered with the mind that they would divorce once things don’t go their way, but I’m not talking about them.

You read and hear about different marital tales that make the ears tingle everyday and you are sure it can’t happen to you. Fine. But you refuse to honestly check yourself to see if you behave like some of the people in the stories who are responsible for the ills in their marriages so you can deal with such traits and you think it won’t come near you? You are a diehard, you still hold on to traditions that have overtime been proven to hurt partners and marriages because you want to maintain the status quo, yet you are hoping for a blissful marriage?

You see sweet and working marriages, I’m not talking about merely picture perfect marriages here. You’ve been to their homes and you see how it is much more beautiful there than what you see outside. Have you ever paused to ask them what they are doing differently? You see, you have to learn from both good and bad experiences. You don’t have to be burnt before you know that fire burns. People share their experiences on how they moved from struggling marriages to enviable ones on social media, but instead of you to learn from them, you would rather proudly stick to your old ways and spurn their wisdom. Kontinu, you hia?

It’s not enough to not believe in divorce and or separation, you must do all within your capacity to ensure you don’t experience them. And this requires humility because you will have to bend, unlearn and relearn. After you’ve done all, you stand and let God do His own part. Not believing in divorce yet acting like someone whose spouse will eventually leave is just like not believing in failure but deciding to not study for your exams. You will fail. You know you can’t marry someone who has certain characters you possess but you want someone else’s son or daughter to accept and endure your shenanigans. I tink say you can hear yaself.

The very same thing you hate your dad for, you are doing but you assume a miracle will happen and your marriage will be better than his. You detest your mum for how he treats your dad, but are you not towing her path? Between, you need to forgive your offending parent(s), not because they deserve it but because you deserve thorough healing. If you do not let go of the hurts, you won’t heal and you will repeat their mistakes or attract people like them for marriage. And the evil cycle continues….

Here is a simple rule to follow: don’t dish out to your spouse what you won’t want him or her to do to you. It’s a paraphrase of “Love your neighbour as yourself.” Note that following this rule is hard work because it’s unfriendly to your naturally selfish nature. I know someone who can help you fulfill it well. His name is Jesus. Accepting Him, trusting your life to Him and letting Him control your life will make these things like a piece of cake. I understand some of you have accepted Him already but are yet to let Him have the reins and be your Lord. You need to let go of the control and let Him, you will be glad you do.

Cheers! 😘😘

©May 2022, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

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Be the Right One

When praying towards your marriage, don’t just pray about/towards the things you want to see in your future spouse.

Pray for and about yourself too. Pray that you’ll be the right person for him/her. Pray that every trait in you that you are or aren’t aware of that has the tendency to hurt and frustrate your spouse and marriage should be dealt with.

Pray that you yourself won’t be your own trouble in marriage. Pray that every wrong belief system you have about marriage and men/women should be flushed out and replaced with admirable and excellent ones.

Pray that God will expose you to positive influences in different forms that will prepare you for a blissful life in marriage. Pray for willingness to yield to those influences.

It’s selfish to want only your future spouse to meet certain standards when you are not willing to bend, unlearn and relearn to meet them yourself.

I am persuaded that marriage can be sweet from day one when both parties are ready to be a blessing to one another from the onset and are willing to work selflessly against whatever has the capacity to hurt their spouses and marriage. It’s a lot of work on both sides but it will be worth it, especially when you have the King of kings at the centre of the marriage and that of the two individual hearts involved and He is in full control.

Good day this beautiful day.

©May 2022, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

Posted in Courtship, Inspirational, Love, Marriage Talks, Romance, Short and Crisp | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

A Lesson from Mary and Martha

Photo Credit: Sunday School Zone

Text: Luke 10:38-42

You could have opened your heart to Jesus and let Him in to stay. But do you dwell in His presence? Or like Martha you are distracted by all that needs to get done.

Giving your life to Jesus is one thing, abiding in His presence is another. We all must learn from Mary who calmly sat at the Master’s feet to learn from Him. It’s not enough to let Him into our hearts, we must stay in His presence continually to fellowship as well. We must learn to prioritise Him above our day to day activities so that when we are busy physically, we are connected spiritually to Him, undistracted.

Prayer: Father, help me like Mary to choose that which matters always — dwelling in your presence. Help me overcome every distraction, to be still before You and know that You are God. Amen.

©April 8, 2022
Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

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See Her

See her,
broken but put together;
shaken but composed.
She has been through the fire
but doesn’t smell like flames.
She has been through the waters,
waded through the rivers,
yet is she dry,
dry with no drop of water on her.

Look at her,
she knows His discipline
and understands it’s for her best.
She cries when it hurts
but hopes she learns her lessons well.
She prays not to repeat classes
as none of His dealings comes easy.
Hence, she pays attention
so she can move to the next class.

©March 2022, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

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