I remember a chat with an acquaintance of my flatmate who came on a visit some years back. I mentioned a certain dream of mine and she whined, “You have stolen my dream, I have the same dream.” I just smiled.
Well, the kind of dream you have is not peculiar to you, many people have similar dreams. And that doesn’t mean they steal it from you. Think about it self, how can a person you don’t know from Adam steal your dream?
But as each person is unique so is his dream even if it is similar to another’s. You want to be a renown songwriter? So many others have that vision too or are already. You want to speak around the world? You are not alone in that line of thought. Just know that no matter how many similar dreams there are, the content of each dream is unique.
He is a Priest,
He is a King,
And He is the Lord,
This man that I know.
He made a big sacrifice for the whole world,
With His own flesh and blood,
So that sin will no longer have a hold
On as many who accept Him,
And so that they may be made right with God
And become His children.
He is a warrior who never loses any battle.
He breaks heads and fills lands with corpses.
He fights for the cause of His own,
And yes, He will rule and reign forever–
This man that I know.
Don’t strive to be who you are not just to please people. You will eventually get enervated from pretending and ache to return to you. Why, because it hurts to not be you.
Look at it this way, whether you are you or not, some people will still form hurtful opinions about you, cook up stories about you and choose not to see whatever good you do. So why not just be you instead of going though the hell (yes, it is hell) of being who you are not?
Being you might gore some poeople’s ox, but that won’t be your problem but theirs so far you is not a sin. Anyone affected by your being yourself has issues and should deal with it. Be you.
PS: The you here is not condoning personal issues you need to work on.
I just now remember how my mum told us about a wife of one of her older cousins, Iya Segun. Iya Segun used to sing for her son, Boda Segun, when he was a toddler like this:
“Segun a di lawyer lola o.
“Segun a di doctor lola o.”
“Segun will become a lawyer tomorrow.
“Segun will become a doctor tomorrow”
Boda Segun did not grow up to become a lawyer or a doctor, but he grew up to be a success in his chosen field. Will I even recognise the *boda if I see him today? I might, and might not. It’s been so long I saw him last.
My point? Parents, speak life over your children, even if they could frustrate sometimes. Bless them and do not curse. Speak life over them, you’ll see the dividends of those words eventually.
Like an eagle,
I am rising above the storm,
My youth is being renewed
‘Cause I’m shedding old feathers for new ones.
I am pressed but not crushed,
Persecuted but not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed.
I am sure that now it will be said of me,
“See what Yahweh has done.”
Something about history is it is not partial. It tells your story just as it is. Hope people will not wince and curse the memory of you when they read about you in the annals. There is always an opportunity to rewrite your story so far you still have breath in your nostrils.
I know someone who is the best story rewriter. He specializes in giving people new beginnings, if they will trust Him with their lives and follow Him. He is Jesus Christ, the Righteous.
You see the back of another person’s head and mock its shape, But do you know what yours look like? How are you sure yours is not worse-shaped than the one you’re mocking? It’s so easy to assess other people and judge them through our own myopic lens While we are actually worse than them but foolishly think we are better. That someone doesn’t fit your picture of great does not mean they aren’t And it doesn’t mean you are. You need to work on your sight, Because if your eyes are full of darkness, You will never see anything good about others. Or maybe I’ll say you should remove your coloured shades so you can see clearly. Above all, deal with your own hurts and insecurities. It’s a proven fact that hurt people hurt others And insecure people always find ways to make others feel insecure too.
I’ve got friends in high places — The Almighty Father is my Sponsor, The Alglorious Son is my Ally, The fireful Holy Spirit is my Champion. And what is more, the holy angels are my attendants! So, you see, I’ve got friends in high places And I cannot be moved.
Cackles, Chortles, Chuckles, Giggles, Guffaws, Smiles, Titters – All these and more You’ve filled my heart and mouth with. At a time when it appears the fig is not budding, When it seems there are no grapes on the vine, You have filled my heart with joy, My mouth with squeals of delight, Bursting forth peals of laughter More than when their grain and new wine abound.
The word of God is powerful, The word of God is strong, The word of God is indeed living. It is truly sharper than any double-edged sword. It has the ability to break us down and transform us. No wonder the devil does everything possible to keep us from the Bible. He knows the power that the word carries, He knows the Word God is. So, he will keep doing his best to keep us away from the Word. Who will you allow to win — The Word or the devil? Know this, That the Spirit of the Lord is there to help you, Confess your struggles to Him. For when the enemy shall come like a mighty flood, He, the Spirit of the Lord, will raise a standard against him and send him on his heels.
There’s One who loves us more than anyone can! There is One who will never hurt you; There is One who heals hurts. We all need to allow Him love and heal us from time to time. He is close to the broken-hearted and specialises in binding up all types of brokenness. There is One who loves you more than anyone can; There is One who treasures your trust and will never take it for granted. He is Jesus, Trust Him.
It is quite easy to lose sight of what the Lord has done or provided if we are always bothered about what we need but don’t have yet and what He seems to not have done. If we will carefully pause and check, we will see that He has done so much for us already and then we can rejoice in what we currently have while we trust Him for the rest.
Yes, you might be hungry right now or you probably are not eating what you would have loved to eat. But well, you breathe in His oxygen without stress and breathes out carbon dioxide without hassle. Plus, you are not paying a dime for that oxygen, are you? You don’t have choice shoes and clothing, I know, but you are not naked neither do you walk around barefooted. And in case you are ill, mildly or critically, you can still choose to thank Him in that situation because that situation can be turned around for your good and that there’s still hope for a tree even when it’s been cut off because at the scent of water, it will sprout again.
You see, if we will calm down, we will realise He has already done us well and when we allow ourselves to be persuaded that He is good and kind no matter what, we will be able to delight ourselves in Him even if He is yet to do that which we want. Hope you know challenges are peculiar only to the living and they try us and make us better.
I woke up with the lines of a song I had not remembered in a few years popping up and down in my head. So I went to ol’ YouTube to search it out. While watching and singing I scrolled through the comments and saw a comment that the song is not worshipful enough. The commenter is a senior citizen so I was not surprised, the song apparently did not resonate with him despite how smitten we younger ones are by it. I mean this is a great song that takes you straight to the throne but this daddy did not feel it.
One lesson I got from this is some people may not (or never) be able to connect (well) to some songs no matter how spiritual those songs are. This is why every music minister should maintain his/her uniqueness. Your songs will always meet your audience at home. But in case you have a mixed audience, say you are a worship minister in church and you have a mix of old and young folks, it is wisdom for you to balance the songs so none of the generations feel left out.
Another thing is the fact that you do not feel a particular music minister does not mean s/he is bad. There are plenty people that get tremendously blessed by his/her songs and can’t do without listening to them. Everyone has their own audience. Also, if maybe you will try to be open a little bit more, you can also benefit from this person’s ministry, maybe.
Concerned Committee Members (will be written as CCMs after now), please gather around, let me tell you some things.
You need to be careful how you show your concerns about mature singles, ladies especially, around you. Why do some of you people think mature single ladies are unmarried because they don’t go out enough? You mean a sane person should leave her house early in the morning and walk around the entire city so she might meet her husband? You mean she should go for every single programme and concert in town and should keep marking every single man she sights there in case he is the one? Does it even make sense? You mean she should pack her bags and roam from city to city or from country to country like a lunatic just so she can find someone to marry her? Is that not a recipe for depression?
Some of you don’t even care about the quality of the person, since all you want is for them to get spliced. You don’t mind if the guy is irresponsible and or violent, it doesn’t matter whether they fit one another or if their core values match. They should sha get hitched, that’s all you know, they are already late so they shouldn’t be selective at all but should just find somebody, even if the person is raving mad, and wed. This is why you are happy when they confide in you that someone proposes and would do everything to ensure they walk down the aisle with him although they have doubts and are not excited about the whole thing. As far as you are concerned, someone finally came and they must not miss the “opportunity”.
It is still some of you people that complain about how a lady keeps travelling around the world because of her job/business/ministry, you wonder how she will find a husband because she travels a lot. What do you want actually? You whinge when they don’t go out and still beef them when they travel around. It seems a lot of you are not actually concerned as you claim or you lack understanding on what it means to be truly concerned. Can you please leave mature single ladies alone and face your front if your words won’t add values to them?
And there’s this story that some of you CCMs always love to recycle and recount to these ladies. No, you don’t tell it to single ladies in their early twenties but once she is close to thirty, or she is thirty or above thirty and is still single, she automatically becomes a candidate of the class where that story is told. The story is about how one fine sister who had PhD and was also well to do ended up marrying a primary school certificate holder or probably a primary school dropout after years of waiting because God led her to him and they lived happily ever after. I’m amused though. Why do you reserve that story for mature single women and why do you think God writes the same script for every mature bachelorette? Can you please stop singing that story or something similar into the ears of mature single ladies? It is exasperating. Stop it already!
See, if you truly care about a mature single around you, you will not advise them to settle for just anybody just because they are already “old”. No, you will keep reminding them that it is for that very reason they must be patient to the end and get the best. No, you won’t directly or indirectly insinuate they are yet to tie the knot because they don’t go around for programmes or because they rarely stay in town. We both know that reasoning is not sound. You will also resist the temptation to think you got married fast by your power and efforts and thus sound like it’s their fault they are yet to be espoused. Some of these people are in fact friendlier and more likeable than you were and are.
Finally, if you are concerned indeed about a person’s singleness, you won’t be among those that mount pressure on them through your words, unsolicited advice and attitude. Rather, you would pray for them and seek to see them become better versions of themselves while they are waiting to be paired, should they desire marriage.
(To understand more on how to be concerned about mature singles around you, please read the part one of this post which I made sometimes last year here.)
Beyond training and protecting the girl child up and down, the boy child should be well trained as well. It is untrained boys that lure and defile trained girls, they are the ones that grow up into irresponsible uncles, fathers, teachers, neighbours, police officers, pastors and co-workers who are sexually inappropriate and rape around.
We need to start training the boy child as much as we train the girl child at home and even in our churches. If we don’t train the boys, they will keep bastardising our efforts on the trained girls. We also need to protect the boy child. Boys too get sexually abused by aunties, uncles, female cousins, female teachers, male teachers etc.. All our children are precious, need sex education, protection and our prayers not just the girl child.
However, we must not be paranoid because that will do more harm than good. Our trust and confidence should be in the truth that God is able to preserve and keep our children even as we do our parts. The reality is we still need morally upright older males and females around our children for holistic growth, we can’t train them alone.
And then, not all men sexually abuse their daughters. Yes, there are plenty morally depraved men that do that but there are still several fathers who don’t and will never do so. There are also plenty uncles who will never sexually abuse their nieces. And there are countless men who will never sexually abuse their female house helps or yield to their seductions should that happen. (News flash, many of these good men are not necessarily Christians or serious Christians!)
There is nothing wrong in a father bathing his daughter or dressing her up. It is normal and expected. A woman whose husband is sexually inappropriate towards their daughter(s) doesn’t even have any business remaining in the marriage in the first instance and should get him arrested and charged to court because she won’t always be home and the abuse will continue. This is why those of us who are still single should thoroughly wait on God to the end so we don’t end up marrying men we can’t trust our daughters, nieces, sisters, female guests or female domestic helps with. God gives good and perfect gifts and will never give any of His faithful daughters who truly trusts and waits on Him to sexual liabilities. Not ever!