When a happily married/engaged woman advises a single lady [especially one in her age range or older] against marrying a man for certain reasons [that are for the benefit of the lady, to save her from stories that touch in marriage], the single lady may feel that the married /engaged woman is being selfish and does not want others to get married or get hooked like her.
If the adviser is also single and unattached, she might be deemed bitter, not wanting others to be “happy” (married) because she is not “happy”.
Unfortunately, if the advisee goes ahead to marry the guy she has been reasonably warned against and gets burnt, she returns to the counselors she derided initially, seeking their prayers and support.
Why not take heed to godly advise now, why take the medicine after death? Women that have been this foolish have never remained the same, they have touching stories to tell. Please let your senses be intact when deciding whom to yoke with in marriage.
One of the major factors that causes women to sneer at good counsels and go for goats as husbands is the 30-factor. Once a woman is thirty, or approaching the shores of thirty, and she is not in any meaningful relationship, her desperation to get married escalates and this closes her mind to any dangerous trait a suitor might be carrying. She makes excuses for the guy anytime he shows his true colour and encourages herself that he will change in marriage or she will change him.
Lady, if the 30-factor is bothering you, please deal with it now. Because no matter how many mountains you go to for prayers, no matter how many people pray along with you, desperation will drive you into wrong hands. Get over it! You don’t want to wait this long and still end up settling for less than the best.
Some quick questions for you–why do you want to marry self? Do you understand the purpose of marriage? Do you know your own purpose for living? What do you look for in a man? Don’t tell me he must be god-fearing (are you godly yourself?) and handsome. If those are the only things you want in a man, you are not ready for marriage yet, I don’t care if you are already forty. Knowing who you are and your purpose in life will inform the qualities you look out for in a man. So, get to work and discover yourself. Don’t marry without doing so. Godspeed!
©2015, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde